A very entertaining mystery. I loved the story, despite the rather mysterious ending. It invites a good deal of speculation, and thereby, continues to entertain the reader (even now).
Adding to the mystery is the link to the case of a disappeared student, which I suspect you associate with your own story. Perhaps it served as inspiration, for much like in your own tale chapter-to-chapter, the narratives differ in minor aspects as the news reports differ from article-to-article.
I read Gogol's "The Nose" a few years back upon your recommendation, but don't quite see the parallel. I'm sorry if I missed the connection, other than in the improbability that pigs might fly (as a nose might disappear and continue to act independent of its' master).
As for what really happened, I have no doubt that the carpenter witnessed something that the constable and his nefarious associates wished he hadn't, so they "disappeared" him, but what that was specifically remains a question in my own mind. Perhaps they were desecrating a mosque or performing some other anti-Islamic activity?
I loved the little details, the wife's love of mangoes, the SIL's love of Bollywood stars, the clerks devotion to cricket and Aps... the distrust the poor have of police, but I'm afraid I didn't make any obvious symbolic connections ( as Gogol's "nose" might have implied) other than the Islamic aversion to pork, and the propensity of those of other religions to wish to use it against them. The 'fatwa' reference makes me believe that I may have missed the precise connection as the mythology surrounding the carpenter's disappearance spread through mostly Islamic communities.
If you make further revisions, I'd love to see them, only promise you won't ruin the mystery for me with explicit spoilers.
The story i think is not readily understood by anyone who is not an Indian as many of the references made in it are endemic to our social and political situation. Nazeeb Ahmad had a brawl with some fellow students from the ABVP (a right-wing Hindu organization) the night before he disappeared (and if you may recall the sub-inspector who orders the arrest of Sah Uddin is also a member of a non-political Hindu organization) ... was that too much of a coincidence or what? The police believes so, but they would for it's right-wing Hindu party that's in power in our country right now ... But you have forbidden spoilers and here i am offering them anyway. :) I suppose it will be better after a few revisions.
The parallels to Gogol's story are more structural than thematic. They even share a few plot elements ... When i first had the idea for this story i had no clue how i would execute it. Then i read "The Nose". And that gave me some pointers. So i thought it was only honest that i pay homage to him in my story. But if you don't find the parallels too stark, maybe i will reconsider doing so.
No, I think I made that connection, only perhaps my concern was more with motive. But upon reflection, perhaps motive isn't the issue (and that's the story's point)... right-wing authoritarian states have a habit of disappearing segments of society with which they are at odds... and THAT is all the "motive" required to explain a disappearance. Anything more would only serve to obfuscate the "real" reason.
Leo Strauss, a U of Chicago professor of political science and philosophy once wrote a book on esoteric writing... and I believe yours forms a good example.
For you own safety, it pays to remain a bit "vague".
...and the last thing you want to do is make the mistake that many here in the West are making, practicing didacticism rather than investing in the time required to produce great literature.
If nothing else, perhaps I would tone down direct references to the constable's political extra-curriculars, or find a way to more subtly reveal said connections.
Thanks,fj. I agree that story needs no major editing, or changes of plot, etc. As to the question of motive ... I suppose that is for the reader to discover, or invent, whatever the case may be. If he thinks hate is motive enough ... hate of someone who looks different, has different ways of worshipping ... but you get my point. Otherwise he can look for his own motive. Who knows maybe the sub-inspector caught Sah Uddin doing something ... but like I said motive is not my concern.
Thanks for all your inputs, fj! They have been most helpful. And I most wholeheartedly concur with you about the dangers of didacticism in literature. 😃
12 comments:
Hiya, fj!
Where can i send you the story? :)
try freesoul1957@hotmail.com or philosoph75@yahoo.com :)
Woo-hoo!
Haha. Sent to the the first. Hope it meets your expectations. :)
A very entertaining mystery. I loved the story, despite the rather mysterious ending. It invites a good deal of speculation, and thereby, continues to entertain the reader (even now).
Adding to the mystery is the link to the case of a disappeared student, which I suspect you associate with your own story. Perhaps it served as inspiration, for much like in your own tale chapter-to-chapter, the narratives differ in minor aspects as the news reports differ from article-to-article.
I read Gogol's "The Nose" a few years back upon your recommendation, but don't quite see the parallel. I'm sorry if I missed the connection, other than in the improbability that pigs might fly (as a nose might disappear and continue to act independent of its' master).
As for what really happened, I have no doubt that the carpenter witnessed something that the constable and his nefarious associates wished he hadn't, so they "disappeared" him, but what that was specifically remains a question in my own mind. Perhaps they were desecrating a mosque or performing some other anti-Islamic activity?
I loved the little details, the wife's love of mangoes, the SIL's love of Bollywood stars, the clerks devotion to cricket and Aps... the distrust the poor have of police, but I'm afraid I didn't make any obvious symbolic connections ( as Gogol's "nose" might have implied) other than the Islamic aversion to pork, and the propensity of those of other religions to wish to use it against them. The 'fatwa' reference makes me believe that I may have missed the precise connection as the mythology surrounding the carpenter's disappearance spread through mostly Islamic communities.
If you make further revisions, I'd love to see them, only promise you won't ruin the mystery for me with explicit spoilers.
It's all very good just as it is.
Najeeb Ahmed’s father was a carpenter. No coincidence. The absent "nose"?
The story i think is not readily understood by anyone who is not an Indian as many of the references made in it are endemic to our social and political situation. Nazeeb Ahmad had a brawl with some fellow students from the ABVP (a right-wing Hindu organization) the night before he disappeared (and if you may recall the sub-inspector who orders the arrest of Sah Uddin is also a member of a non-political Hindu organization) ... was that too much of a coincidence or what? The police believes so, but they would for it's right-wing Hindu party that's in power in our country right now ... But you have forbidden spoilers and here i am offering them anyway. :) I suppose it will be better after a few revisions.
The parallels to Gogol's story are more structural than thematic. They even share a few plot elements ... When i first had the idea for this story i had no clue how i would execute it. Then i read "The Nose". And that gave me some pointers. So i thought it was only honest that i pay homage to him in my story. But if you don't find the parallels too stark, maybe i will reconsider doing so.
No, I think I made that connection, only perhaps my concern was more with motive. But upon reflection, perhaps motive isn't the issue (and that's the story's point)... right-wing authoritarian states have a habit of disappearing segments of society with which they are at odds... and THAT is all the "motive" required to explain a disappearance. Anything more would only serve to obfuscate the "real" reason.
I wouldn't change the story.
Leo Strauss, a U of Chicago professor of political science and philosophy once wrote a book on esoteric writing... and I believe yours forms a good example.
For you own safety, it pays to remain a bit "vague".
...and the last thing you want to do is make the mistake that many here in the West are making, practicing didacticism rather than investing in the time required to produce great literature.
If nothing else, perhaps I would tone down direct references to the constable's political extra-curriculars, or find a way to more subtly reveal said connections.
Thanks,fj. I agree that story needs no major editing, or changes of plot, etc. As to the question of motive ... I suppose that is for the reader to discover, or invent, whatever the case may be. If he thinks hate is motive enough ... hate of someone who looks different, has different ways of worshipping ... but you get my point. Otherwise he can look for his own motive. Who knows maybe the sub-inspector caught Sah Uddin doing something ... but like I said motive is not my concern.
Thanks for all your inputs, fj! They have been most helpful. And I most wholeheartedly concur with you about the dangers of didacticism in literature. 😃
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