...We kill off a part of out past, instead of a part of ourselves. The "part" we imagine to be the problem (or symbolic of it). And who knows, maybe it's enough to "keep us going".
I think I agree ... I've changed jobs several times and it does give me a fresh outlook. But the killing off of a part of oneself, I think is misguided thinking. Those parts of me that cause me the most trouble are just responding to something deeper that needs to be addressed.
It's like thinking that the addiction itself is the problem. I think it's a symptom of a deeper problem.
Yes, but sometimes we do need to change something. I know that I was extremely introverted, and I think I needed to become "less so". I also could not imagine myself in my job function "for others"... and I can now do that fairly easily (and regularly). I can now put "myself" out of my mind, and become my role, whereas at one time as I was too "self-conscious" to do so. I can now "function" as I need to function and treat "myself, my self conscious, as an object that can be set-aside.
I know that probably doesn't make a whole lot of sense... but it was a kind of "the speech of the king" thing... where the king can't imaging himself a king and so he "stutters" and bumbles. I didn't have a stutter... I was just intensely "shy".
Lacking in "self-confidence", yet working with some of the brightest scientific minds in the nation. I wasn't in their class. I wasn't even close. And I didn't have the back-ground and training for aerospace. I was a "marine" engineer, not an aeronautical/ electrical" one. I knew too little about "satellites" and "global communications systems" and way too much about merchant ships and naval submarines.
I felt incredibly stupid because I wasn't a master of every technology I was forced to deal with, as I had been when I worked in the shipbuilding, and later aero-naval hardware supply industries.
That does make sense, I suppose that awareness is only something that comes with age.. I'm still overly self-conscious most of the time. It's hard to imagine that what I know and what I do for people isn't the most obvious thing. We forget that even though it seems obvious, that's only because it's second nature to us.
It's still a challenge for me. I was working with a scientist (Principle Investigator- PI) from NIST yesterday on a project to develop an "artificial star" (satellite) for use in calibrating space telescopes like the JWST or Roman ST. I was introduced to her on on TEAMS on Tuesday and spent two hours with her on Wednesday coming up with a work plan for NIST, NASA, CU-LASP, University of Vancouver and UCB LLL to develop the required technologies. One of her Co-Investigators on the project doing analysis for her won the Nobel Prize for Physics in 2006. It took a few hours, but we came up with a preliminary plan for developing a prototype, and I'll be spending a few hours a month for the next year helping track progress.
I think the working remotely things helps me separate my personal self from my work. I think I now understand why "autistics" don't like looking into other people's faces... it's too distracting trying to figure out what they're thinking.
One thing I enjoy about my current job is that I'm not inside an office or clinic with other employees. 95% of my face to face time is with patients. Since covid first hit, my hermit tendencies have intensified. I hardly know how to interact with people anymore!
Sounds like the ideal job. You're the expert and you're not dealing with a room full of experts. If it weren't for contractually determined hierarchies, nothing in my line of work would ever get done.
17 comments:
How is it then that so many people seem to not have break downs? Do they resist at the expense of growth?
They have milder forms... mid-life crises. Not all experience the "break"... it's more of a bend.
A new spouse. A new car. A new job. A new... experience. I suppose.
...We kill off a part of out past, instead of a part of ourselves. The "part" we imagine to be the problem (or symbolic of it). And who knows, maybe it's enough to "keep us going".
...a "paranoiac" projection of it where "other" is perceived cause.
I think I agree ... I've changed jobs several times and it does give me a fresh outlook. But the killing off of a part of oneself, I think is misguided thinking. Those parts of me that cause me the most trouble are just responding to something deeper that needs to be addressed.
It's like thinking that the addiction itself is the problem. I think it's a symptom of a deeper problem.
Yes, but sometimes we do need to change something. I know that I was extremely introverted, and I think I needed to become "less so". I also could not imagine myself in my job function "for others"... and I can now do that fairly easily (and regularly). I can now put "myself" out of my mind, and become my role, whereas at one time as I was too "self-conscious" to do so. I can now "function" as I need to function and treat "myself, my self conscious, as an object that can be set-aside.
I know that probably doesn't make a whole lot of sense... but it was a kind of "the speech of the king" thing... where the king can't imaging himself a king and so he "stutters" and bumbles. I didn't have a stutter... I was just intensely "shy".
Lacking in "self-confidence", yet working with some of the brightest scientific minds in the nation. I wasn't in their class. I wasn't even close. And I didn't have the back-ground and training for aerospace. I was a "marine" engineer, not an aeronautical/ electrical" one. I knew too little about "satellites" and "global communications systems" and way too much about merchant ships and naval submarines.
I thought I needed "content"... whereas all I really needed to do was to become the "process" for manipulating it.
I felt incredibly stupid because I wasn't a master of every technology I was forced to deal with, as I had been when I worked in the shipbuilding, and later aero-naval hardware supply industries.
I had to learn to rely on others for what I lacked, how to "extract" it from "experts" so that I, and others, could use and understand it.
Especially since the technology is often cutting edge and "new to everyone".
That does make sense, I suppose that awareness is only something that comes with age.. I'm still overly self-conscious most of the time. It's hard to imagine that what I know and what I do for people isn't the most obvious thing. We forget that even though it seems obvious, that's only because it's second nature to us.
It's still a challenge for me. I was working with a scientist (Principle Investigator- PI) from NIST yesterday on a project to develop an "artificial star" (satellite) for use in calibrating space telescopes like the JWST or Roman ST. I was introduced to her on on TEAMS on Tuesday and spent two hours with her on Wednesday coming up with a work plan for NIST, NASA, CU-LASP, University of Vancouver and UCB LLL to develop the required technologies. One of her Co-Investigators on the project doing analysis for her won the Nobel Prize for Physics in 2006. It took a few hours, but we came up with a preliminary plan for developing a prototype, and I'll be spending a few hours a month for the next year helping track progress.
I think the working remotely things helps me separate my personal self from my work. I think I now understand why "autistics" don't like looking into other people's faces... it's too distracting trying to figure out what they're thinking.
Well, enough humble-bragging....
That's incredible! I can't imagine working with those agencies and feeling confident.
One thing I enjoy about my current job is that I'm not inside an office or clinic with other employees. 95% of my face to face time is with patients.
Since covid first hit, my hermit tendencies have intensified. I hardly know how to interact with people anymore!
Sounds like the ideal job. You're the expert and you're not dealing with a room full of experts. If it weren't for contractually determined hierarchies, nothing in my line of work would ever get done.
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